Sunday, October 7, 2012
Horror Movie Review: Twins of Evil
Hammer Horror. The very name makes me happy. This movie review contains spoilers. Please read my previous post if you want to know more.
The best thing about 1970s horror films? The title credits:
Twins of Evil (released 1971) starts off with Peter Cushing burning a wench at the stake.
Maria and Frieda are traveling from Venice to live with their aunt and uncle Gustav Weil (Peter Cushing). It might be hard to tell Maria and Frieda apart now, but Frieda is the annoying bratty one and Maria is the nice one.
Gustav is highly religious, and runs the witch hunting group in the village the Brotherhood. They basically burn any woman who lives alone and doesn't have a husband. They know of one woman and go out to find her, but she has a visitor. Count Karnstein, the local bad boy! Knowing that they can't defy the count, the Brotherhood leave.
They end up burning her later though!
Count Karnstein is bored up in his castle. He tries to find his pleasures, but nothing excites him. He's so desperate that he calls up the devil.
It's only a hot chick though, so it's okay.
She has come from Satan to offer him undead life in return for his soul. Count Karnstein agrees and they have a fondling session. The part with her stroking the candle always makes me laugh.
Turns out he's making out with his dead relative! Classy! Keeping it in the family. Countess Mircalla then turns Count Karnstein into a vampire!
Maria, Frieda and their Aunt visit the girls finishing school run by Ingrid and her brother Anton. Anton, the school master, only has eyes for Frieda.
Frieda wanders outside and shows her assets off to the Count.
Later that night Frieda sneaks off to the castle, while Maria has to cover for her. The count is very taken with Frieda and turns her into a vampire.
One of Frieda's victims is found and bought to the school house where Anton is teaching the girls.
Soon enough Frieda is caught red handed with a victim. By Gustav himself. He utters one of the best lines "The devil has sent me twins of evil!"
Frieda is locked up in the gaol, but the Count finds out. He kidnaps Maria and switches them over, so Maria is now locked up and Frieda pretends to be Maria at home.
Meanwhile, the Brotherhood decide to burn Frieda.
Anton goes to comfort "Maria" at home, but finds out that it's Frieda! He escapes and rides away, hoping that he'll be in time to save the real Maria from burning.
Anton is in time to save Maria! YAY! The Brotherhood decide to go after the Count and Frieda in the castle.
The Count laughs at the thought of them coming, as fire can't harm vampires. His glee is short lived though, when his manservant Joachim informs him that they have crosses, stakes and axes. This is probably my favourite part, as Joachim doesn't talk and instead mimes all of the items. I tried to find a clip on YouTube, but no luck.
The Count and Frieda try to escape via a tunnel, but Frieda gets her head chopped off at the end.
Lastly is the final showdown between the Count and the village people.
I love how corny Hammer Horror films are. I love the old effects, like shooting footage in the daytime and making it darker because they didn't have the technology to shoot good film in the dark. I love the historical inaccuracy, the buxom women, the terrible dialogue. Also enjoyable are the films Brides of Dracula and Vampire Circus.
Scare factor: 0/5 I wasn't frightened at all.
Gore factor: 2/5 Corn syrup blood.
Boob factor: 2/5 Hammer Horror boobies!
OVERALL: 8/10 One of my favourites.